Five Things All Newlyweds Should Know…

The confetti has settled, you’re over the threshhold and married life has officially begun…

1. A post-wedding come-down is kinda normal

The hype and excitement of planning your wedding day is nothing compared to how you’ll feel on the day itself. So needless to say, once the big day is over and you’re back to normality, you might feel a little blue for a while; think the bridal equivalent of January blues. But turn that frown upside down! Yes, your wedding day is over – which means the most exciting part, your life together as husband and wife, has just begun.

2. You’re suddenly going to be in possession of a lot of new things

If you had a gift-list you’ll find your home filled with fancy kitchen gadgets and swanky homeware pieces. What does a trivet even do? You don’t know, but you somehow feel that it will change the way you chop vegetables forever. Bathe in the joy of having lots of shiny, new things. (Not that we’re encouraging you to be materialistic.) BTW – don’t forget to write your thank-you letters!

3. Reliving your wedding day on Facebook = totally normal

It was the best day ever, so it’s only natural you want to keep replaying the highlights over and over. Be savvy; give your guests a hashtag on your wedding day (for example, #AliceAndMitchWedding) so you can see all the photos taken at your celebration (and shared on social media) with a click of your mouse.

4. Mr & Mrs date nights are essential

Just because you’re married, there’s no need to get lax; making an effort to still have quality time is as important as ever.

5. The topic of conversation is going to change rather drastically

Whereas before, people would talk to you non-stop about your wedding plans, the chat will now take a rather different route (from the chapel to the nursery, you might say). You’ll have barely had time to pack away your wedding dress before people start talking to you about babies. Endlessly. Don’t say we didn’t warn you!

Published in: on July 16, 2014 at 10:23 PM  Leave a Comment  

Best Movie for Date Night?

Published in: on May 5, 2014 at 5:39 PM  Leave a Comment  

Wedding Dilemma Solved!

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Wedding Dilemma: “We Both Feel Strongly (And Differently) About Something.”
Response: Determine If the Potential Joy Will Outweigh the Suspected Pain

One of my brides wrote in sharing her wish to have her mother walk her down the aisle instead of her father who was not all that involved in her life following her parents’ divorce as a young girl. When she told her father she was surprised to learn that this deeply disturbed him. He told her, “I have not been a good father at times. ¦I realize that. But I have always hoped I could walk you down the aisle. While I may not deserve that honor it would mean the world to me. Truthfully, I will feel humiliated in front of my family and friends if I don’t’ walk you down the aisle.”

Here’s a great example of having to make a decision in the face of competing needs and values. This bride asked herself, “Would the joy of having my mother walk me down the aisle outweigh the pain it will cause my father?” When she shared this with her mother she learned that it hadn’t been her mother’s dream to walk her daughter down the aisle. This bride decided that this was an area that she could be flexible with and that the pain it would cause her father was not worth it to her and not something she wanted associated with the most important day of her life.

Marriage is not for getting all of our needs met; it’s for learning how to love and becoming more refined. We learn to give and receive love.

Whenever we have the choice to be RIGHT or be KIND, it is always better to choose to be KIND!

Published in: on April 30, 2014 at 7:49 PM  Leave a Comment  
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Hope Springs Eternal…

ImageHave you ever noticed how people, even if they are rushing by, will stop and take a moment to watch a wedding of strangers?  Why is that?

I believe that even in this cynical age, where so many things are disposable, we all yearn for the permanent commitment.  The joys of young love and the hope of a future together as well as the future of a committed love, make weddings into glorious things.

First, when we experience the vows of a new couple, it gives us an opportunity to reflect on our own commitments and relationships.  How have we done with our spouse since our marriage?  Do we still work to nurture and take care of that relationship?

Second, we support the newly married by our example.  They are taking an important step in getting married.  After the party is over and everyone has gone home, will we continue to support them in their relationship and commitment?

Weddings are, indeed, glorious things where hope springs eternal.  

To all those planning a wedding or nurturing a past wedding, happy hoping!

 

Published in: on March 10, 2014 at 7:25 PM  Leave a Comment  
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Eloping: Will You Avoid Family Drama or Stir It Up?

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So you’re engaged and thinking of eloping!  Congratulations on finding your life mate.  As you well know there are a number of reasons to elope:

  1.  Need to get married fast

    2.   Want to avoid family drama

    3.   Want to save money

    4.   No interest or time in planning a wedding

    5.   There aren’t enough people in your life to make it worth a wedding ceremony

 

While I believe weddings are a great way to gather family, friends, and community to celebrate a union, we would never tell anyone to not elope; some of my most beautiful weddings have been the simplest. 

 On the other hand, often couples who decide to elope meet reactions and emotions they are unprepared for:

     Anger

    Shock

    Confusion

    Sadness

    Disappointment

Sometimes to appease the negative feelings, couples have a wedding reception at a later date to gather loved ones.  But they are shocked when a simple reception turns into the wedding drama and stress they were trying to avoid.  All the emotions people have about showing off the new member of the family, about their son or daughter tying the knot, or about their lack of control over your decision to elope may result in madness around the reception.

 Whatever the reason you chose to elope, trust that you are not escaping family drama.  It may show up just before you elope, at the first major family birthday or holiday after your elopement, or at your one year anniversary.  Rarely do families accept a new “in-law” without complex emotions and attitudes.

Wedding planning, on the other hand, is often an extended view of the first years of marriage where every stakeholder in your life comes out to express his/her opinion about you and your relationship, about everyone in the extended clan, and about your life decisions.  By eloping you may be forcing those bottled emotions to spring forth in surprising ways.  Be prepared!  While some people make horrible mistakes in wedding planning that haunt them for years into their marriage (attacking in laws during a wedding planning meltdown moment, for example), the choice to elope may be an equally dramatic “mistake” in the eyes of your family.

All of this is worth consideration!

 

Published in: on March 3, 2014 at 6:40 PM  Leave a Comment  
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Useful Quotations on Love and Marriage…

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Falling in Love:

     “Once in awhile, right in the middle of an ordinary life, love gives us a fairy tale.” —Unknown Author

    “And I knew exactly how old Walt Disney’s Cinderella felt when she found her prince.” —Elizabeth Young

    “When you look for the right person, you always end up with the wrong one. But when you just sit by the corner and wait, he comes along and shares the corner with you.” —Unknown Author

    “When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.” —When Harry Met Sally

    “I’m feeling alive and with every breath that I take, I feel like I’ve won. You’re my key to survival.” —Secondhand Serenade

    “You know when you have found your prince because you not only have a smile on your face, but in your heart as well.” —Unknown Author

    “For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.” —Judy Garland

    “For you see, each day I love you more 
Today more than yesterday and less than tomorrow.” —Rosemonde Gerard

 

What is Love?

 

    “You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.” —Dr. Seuss

    “Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” —Lao Tzu

    “When I sleep, I dream of you, and when I wake, I long to hold you in my arms. If anything, our time apart has only made me more certain that I want to spend my nights by your side, and my days with your heart.” —Nights in Rodanthe

    “Love is life. And if you miss love, you miss life.” —Leo Buscaglia

    “I love you, not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. I love you, not only for what you have made of yourself, but for what you are making of me.” —Roy Croft

    “To find someone who will love you for no reason, and to shower that person with reasons, that is the ultimate happiness.” —Robert Brault

    “A hundred hearts would be too few to carry all my love for you.” —Unknown Author

    “You will find, as you look back upon your life, that the moments when you have truly lived are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love.” —Henry Drummond

    “Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.” —Maya Angelou

    “Love doesn’t make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.” —Franklin P. Jones

    “In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything, and two minus one equals nothing.” —Mignon McLaughlin

    “It is love that makes impossible possible.” —Indian Proverb

    “Walking with your hands in mine and mine in yours, that’s exactly where I want to be always.” —Fawn Weaver

    “In dreams and in love there are no impossibilities.” —Janos Arnay

    “Two souls with but a single thought; two hearts that beat as one.” —Friedrich Halm

 

The Meaning of Marriage:

 

    “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” —Mignon McLaughlin

    “The groom always smiles proudly because he’s convinced he’s accomplished something quite wonderful. The bride smiles because she’s been able to convince him of it.” —Judith McNaught

    “You don’t marry the person you can live with … you marry the person you can’t live without.” —Unknown Author

    “Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy, you must have somebody to divide it with.” —Mark Twain

    “Sexiness wears thin after a while, and beauty fades. But to be married to a man who makes you laugh every day, now that’s a real treat.” —JoAnne Woodward

    “Being someone’s first love may be great, but to be their last is beyond perfect.” —Unknown Author

    “You make me happier than I ever thought I could be, and if you let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way.” —Friends

    “What greater thing is there for two human souls, than to feel that they are joined for life — to strength each other in all labor, to rest on each other in all sorrow, to minister to each other in all pain, to be with each other in silent unspeakable memories at the moment of the last parting? —George Eliot

    “A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.” —Robert Quillen

    “A good marriage is one which allows for change and growth in the individuals and in the way they express their love.” —Pearl S. Buck

    “The greatest marriages are built on teamwork. A mutual respect, a healthy dose of admiration, and a never-ending portion of love and grace.” —Fawn Weaver

    “The highest happiness on earth is the happiness of marriage.” —William Lyon Phelps

 

The Ups and Downs of Marriage:

 

    “In a marriage, each partner is to be an encourager rather than a critic, a forgiver rather than a collector of hurts, and enabler rather than a reformer.” —Unknown Author

    “The real act of marriage takes place in the heart, not in the ballroom or church or synagogue. It’s a choice you make on your wedding day, and over and over again and that choice is reflected in the way you treat your husband…” —Barbara De Angelis

    “Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is progress; working together is success.” —Henry Ford

    “Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.” —Emily Brönte

    “Grow old along with me; the best is yet to be.” —Robert Browning

    “When the darkness rolls in, I’ll be there through thick and thin.” —Hilary Duff

    “I don’t know where I’d be without you here with me. Life with you makes perfect sense. You’re my best friend.” —Tim McGraw

    “Because today, when I look into your eyes, my love for you only grows. It’s even stronger now. My love will never waver. And this I vow to you, today, and always and forever.” —One Tree Hill

    “There is no such thing as a perfect man or a perfect marriage. But the one I have is perfect for me.” —Fawn Weaver

    “Remember, we all stumble; every one of us. That is why it’s a comfort to go hand in hand.” —Emily Kimbrough

    “The beauty of marriage is not always seen from the very beginning…but rather as love grows and develops over time.” —Fawn Weaver

    “I wasn’t sure that love could survive everything we put it through, but you were. You were sure, you were always sure.” —Boy Meets World

    “Before we met, I was as lost as a person could be and yet you saw something in me that somehow gave me direction again.” —Nights in Rodanthe

    “Marriages, like a garden, take time to grow. But the harvest is rich unto those who patiently and tenderly care for the ground.” —Darlene Schacht

    “Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful and endures through every circumstance.” —Corinthians 13:7

 

 

Published in: on February 24, 2014 at 7:37 PM  Leave a Comment  
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Historic Charleston Venue…

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Today I am in Charleston, SC for Jennifer and John’s wedding rehearsal. This wedding will take place tomorrow at St Luke Chapel. I love this historic venue.

After all these months of planning, I’m looking forward to meeting the Bride and Groom in person!

Published in: on February 21, 2014 at 4:12 PM  Leave a Comment  
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Picking a Wedding Date…

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Sometimes picking a wedding date can be difficult. There are many factors to consider.

Holiday weekend weddings have pros and cons. You’ve got an extra day for the festivities (and recovery!); plus, a Sunday wedding is often less expensive than a Saturday one would be. However, costs of travel and hotels may be higher. And if you’re looking to marry around Valentine’s Day, be wary of your floral bill, especially if you’ve got your heart set on red roses — they’ll likely be more expensive than at any other time of the year. Likewise, reception sites often charge a higher fee for a New Year’s Eve wedding. Also consider the impact of a holiday weekend on your guest list: Some families have standing plans or traditions that they’d prefer not to miss.

Martin Luther King Jr. Day (always a Monday)
Weekend of January 18-20, 2014
Weekend of January 17-19, 2015
Weekend of January 16-18, 2016

Presidents’ Day (always a Monday)
Weekend of February 15-17, 2014
Weekend of February 14-16, 2015
Weekend of February 13-15, 2016

One thing to always be aware of in Savannah is St Patrick’s Day. The city has a huge parade, and the city is full of revelers. The holiday can and does affect the weekends before and after.
March 17, 2014, Monday
March 17, 2015, Tuesday
March 17, 2016, Thursday
March 17, 2017, Friday

Mother’s Day (always a Sunday)
Make sure your moms are okay sharing this weekend with your wedding. And ask yourself, do you want your anniversary to fall the same weekend as Mother’s Day when (or if) you become a mom? Also, flowers are VERY expensive that weekend.
Weekend of May 10-11, 2014
Weekend of May 9-10, 2015
Weekend of May 7-8, 2016

Memorial Day (always a Monday)
Weekend of May 24-26, 2014
Weekend of May 23-25, 2015
Weekend of May 28-30, 2016

Father’s Day (always a Sunday)
Like you would with your moms, check with your dads about doubling up on this day. And grooms, make sure you’re okay with celebrating your anniversary the same weekend as Father’s Day if you decide to have kids.
Weekend of June 14-15, 2014
Weekend of June 20-21, 2015
Weekend of June 18-19, 2016

Independence Day
Friday, July 4, 2014
Saturday, July 4, 2015
Monday, July 4, 2016

Labor Day (always a Monday)
Weekend of August 30-September 1, 2014
Weekend of September 5-7, 2015
Weekend of September 3-5, 2016

Columbus Day (always a Monday)
Weekend of October 11-13, 2014
Weekend of October 10-12, 2015
Weekend of October 8-10, 2016

Halloween
Avoid it if you’re terrified that someone might actually show up in costume (and embrace it if you want them to!).
Friday, October 31, 2014
Saturday, October 31, 2015
Monday, October 31, 2016

Thanksgiving (always a Thursday)
November 27, 2014
November 26, 2015
November 24, 2016

New Year’s Eve
Wednesday, December 31, 2014
Thursday, December 31, 2015
Saturday, December 31, 2016

Religious and Cultural Holidays

Be mindful of religious and cultural holidays (your own and those of your guests) when planning your wedding. There may even be restrictions at your house of worship as to whether you’re allowed to marry at these times.

Palm Sunday
April 13, 2014
March 29, 2015
March 20, 2016

Easter Sunday
April 20, 2014
April 5, 2015
March 27, 2016

Passover (begins at sunset the night before)
Tuesday, April 15, 2014
Saturday, April 4, 2015
Friday, April 22, 2016
Friday, April 22, 2016

Tisha B’Av (begins at sunset the night before)
Tuesday, August 5, 2014
Sunday, July 26, 2015
Saturday, August 13, 2016

Rosh Hashanah (begins at sunset the night before)
Thursday, September 25, 2014, until nightfall on Friday, September 26, 2014
Monday, September 14, 2015, until nightfall on Tuesday, September 15, 2015
Sunday, October 2, 2016, until nightfall on Tuesday, October 4, 2016

Yom Kippur (begins at sunset the night before)
Saturday, October 4, 2014
Wednesday, September 23, 2015
Tuesday, October 11, 2016

Hanukkah (begins at sunset)
Wednesday, December 17, 2014, until nightfall on Wednesday, December 24, 2014
Monday, December 7, 2015, until nightfall on Monday, December 14, 2015
Saturday, December 24, 2016 until nightfall on Sunday, January 1, 2017

Christmas
Thursday, December 25, 2014
Friday, December 25, 2015
Sunday, December 25, 2016

Kwanzaa
Friday, December 26, 2014, until Thursday, January 1, 2015
Saturday, December 26, 2015, until Friday, January 1, 2016
Monday, December 26, 2016 until Sunday, January 1, 2017

Eid al-Fitr (dates may vary based on how each family observes)
Monday, July 28, 2014, until Tuesday, July 29, 2014
Friday, July 17, 2015, until Saturday, July 18, 2015
Tuesday, July 5, 2016, until Wednesday, July 6, 2016

Eid al-Adha (dates may vary based on how each family observes)
Saturday, October 4, 2014, until Sunday, October 5, 2014
Wednesday, September 23, 2015, until Thursday, September 24, 2015
Monday, September 12, 2016, until Tuesday, September 13, 2016

Ram Navami
Tuesday, April 8, 2014
Saturday, March 28, 2015
Friday, April 15, 2016

Krishna Janmashtami
Sunday, August 17, 2014
Saturday, September 5, 2015
Thursday, August 25, 2016

Days of Remembrance

We’re talking about historically significant days (like the anniversary of September 11) that may be off-limits if you come from a big military family. Or, that could make them all the more meaningful — it’s up to you to decide.

Patriot Day
Thursday, September 11, 2014
Friday, September 11, 2015
Sunday, September 11, 2016

National Pearl Harbor Remembrance Day
Sunday, December 7, 2014
Monday, December 7, 2015
Wednesday, December 7, 2016

Major Sporting Events

If you’re die-hard sports fans — or if you’re worried your guests might have a hard time choosing between your wedding and the big game — avoid getting married during popular sporting events. And if a lot of your guests come from the same alma mater, watch out for homecoming weekends and bowl games that might conflict.

Super Bowl Sunday
February 2, 2014, in East Rutherford, NJ
February 1, 2015, in Glendale, AZ
February 7, 2016, in Santa Clara, CA

Final Four During March Madness
Saturday, April 5, 2014, and Monday, April 7, 2014, in Arlington, TX
Saturday, April 4, 2015, and Monday, April 6, 2015, in Indianapolis
Saturday, April 2, 2016, and Monday, April 4, 2016, in Houston, TX

Unlucky Dates

If you’re superstitious, you might want to watch out for these historically inauspicious dates from across several cultures.

The Ides of March
For ancient Romans, an “ides” was simply a date that marked the middle of the month — until Julius Caesar was assassinated on March 15 in 44 B.C. Since then, “Beware the Ides of March” has become the mantra of this superstitiously unlucky date.
Saturday, March 15, 2014
Sunday, March 15, 2015
Tuesday, March 15, 2016

Friday the 13th
The unluckiest date of the year has questionable origins. Some historians say it comes from the 13 diners who were present at the last supper, but the famous Code of Hammurabi doesn’t include a 13th law, which suggests this superstition is as many as 3 millennia old. And it wasn’t until a successful novel titled Friday the Thirteenth was published in the early 1900s that Friday became part of the unlucky equation.
June 13, 2014
February 13, 2015
March 13, 2015
November 13, 2015
May 13, 2016

Leap Years
Greeks and Romans thought that starting any new life event — from getting married to baptizing a child — in a leap year would bring bad luck.
Next Leap Year: 2016
Monday, February 29, 2016

Published in: on January 27, 2014 at 6:13 PM  Leave a Comment  
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Tuesday Tip…

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At your wedding, don’t be afraid to do something different, something unique.

For example, at the wedding pictured above they used the last living grandmothers as flower girls. These flower ladies created an awesome memory!

Published in: on January 7, 2014 at 3:45 PM  Leave a Comment  
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New Year’s Resolution…

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I think this is a great time of year to reflect on how life is going. Are you becoming the person you want to be? How do you see yourself? How do others see you? Are you needing to change anything? If so, this is the best time to do it… Today… Now!

I also believe that the most important thing in this life is LOVE. People who are not good at loving are not good at it because they don’t have it to give away. Love yourself. Fill up on love and then you will be able to freely love others.

Such a simple (and hard) task for a new year, for a lifetime.

Happy 2014!

Published in: on January 3, 2014 at 5:11 PM  Leave a Comment  
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