Wedding Dilemma Solved!

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Wedding Dilemma: “We Both Feel Strongly (And Differently) About Something.”
Response: Determine If the Potential Joy Will Outweigh the Suspected Pain

One of my brides wrote in sharing her wish to have her mother walk her down the aisle instead of her father who was not all that involved in her life following her parents’ divorce as a young girl. When she told her father she was surprised to learn that this deeply disturbed him. He told her, “I have not been a good father at times. ¦I realize that. But I have always hoped I could walk you down the aisle. While I may not deserve that honor it would mean the world to me. Truthfully, I will feel humiliated in front of my family and friends if I don’t’ walk you down the aisle.”

Here’s a great example of having to make a decision in the face of competing needs and values. This bride asked herself, “Would the joy of having my mother walk me down the aisle outweigh the pain it will cause my father?” When she shared this with her mother she learned that it hadn’t been her mother’s dream to walk her daughter down the aisle. This bride decided that this was an area that she could be flexible with and that the pain it would cause her father was not worth it to her and not something she wanted associated with the most important day of her life.

Marriage is not for getting all of our needs met; it’s for learning how to love and becoming more refined. We learn to give and receive love.

Whenever we have the choice to be RIGHT or be KIND, it is always better to choose to be KIND!

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Published in: on April 30, 2014 at 7:49 PM  Leave a Comment  
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