Eloping: Will You Avoid Family Drama or Stir It Up?

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So you’re engaged and thinking of eloping!  Congratulations on finding your life mate.  As you well know there are a number of reasons to elope:

  1.  Need to get married fast

    2.   Want to avoid family drama

    3.   Want to save money

    4.   No interest or time in planning a wedding

    5.   There aren’t enough people in your life to make it worth a wedding ceremony

 

While I believe weddings are a great way to gather family, friends, and community to celebrate a union, we would never tell anyone to not elope; some of my most beautiful weddings have been the simplest. 

 On the other hand, often couples who decide to elope meet reactions and emotions they are unprepared for:

     Anger

    Shock

    Confusion

    Sadness

    Disappointment

Sometimes to appease the negative feelings, couples have a wedding reception at a later date to gather loved ones.  But they are shocked when a simple reception turns into the wedding drama and stress they were trying to avoid.  All the emotions people have about showing off the new member of the family, about their son or daughter tying the knot, or about their lack of control over your decision to elope may result in madness around the reception.

 Whatever the reason you chose to elope, trust that you are not escaping family drama.  It may show up just before you elope, at the first major family birthday or holiday after your elopement, or at your one year anniversary.  Rarely do families accept a new “in-law” without complex emotions and attitudes.

Wedding planning, on the other hand, is often an extended view of the first years of marriage where every stakeholder in your life comes out to express his/her opinion about you and your relationship, about everyone in the extended clan, and about your life decisions.  By eloping you may be forcing those bottled emotions to spring forth in surprising ways.  Be prepared!  While some people make horrible mistakes in wedding planning that haunt them for years into their marriage (attacking in laws during a wedding planning meltdown moment, for example), the choice to elope may be an equally dramatic “mistake” in the eyes of your family.

All of this is worth consideration!

 

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Published in: on March 3, 2014 at 6:40 PM  Leave a Comment  
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