This past weekend saw the star-studded funeral of Whitney Houston in New Jersey. With her tragic death came a great deal of attention to her music, her life, her legacy. Radio and television stations devoted airtime to her music. With this increased attention, I had a conversation with a bride. The bride loved Whitney’s rendition of the song, written by Dolly Parton, “I Will Always Love You.” The bride told me that she was considering using the song for her first dance with her new husband at her wedding reception.

Of course, a newlywed couple can do whatever they wish at their wedding reception. I have even seen the “Chicken Dance” done as a first dance! However, I did offer one small bit of advice and a word of caution: Check the lyrics of the song you are considering using!!!

Although a beautiful song, “I Will Always Love You,” may not be the best choice for a first dance. Here are some of the lyrics…

If I should stay, I would only be in your way.
So I’ll go, but I know I’ll think of you ev’ry step of the way.
And I will always love you. I will always love you. You, my darling you. Hmm.

Bittersweet memories that is all I’m taking with me.
So, goodbye. Please, don’t cry. We both know I’m not what you, you need.
And I will always love you. I will always love you.

(Instrumental solo)

I hope life treats you kind And I hope you have all you’ve dreamed of.
And I wish to you, joy and happiness. But above all this, I wish you love.

This beautiful song is a goodbye song, and this probably is not the best choice for a first dance. There are many other beautiful songs out there where the message may be more fitting for the hopes and dreams of the occasion.

And I will always love you. I will always love you. I will always love you. I will always love you. I will always love you. I, I will always love you.
You, darling, I love you. Ooh, I’ll always, I’ll always love you.

Reblogged from paperlilyblog:

If you have ever watched an episode of Bridezillas on Foxtel, you will probably be flinching as you read this. For those of you who haven’t, allow me to shed some light on this show. It follows brides in the lead up to their big day and on the day itself. Harmless right? Wrong. These women are fruit loops. We watch them scream and yell abuse at everyone, become violent, throw tantrums and basically turn into someone scarier than Freddie Kruger. Here are some examples of what I have seen these women do. You …

Luckily, I have not had the opportunity to deal with too many “bridezillas.”

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For example, when Prince Albert of Monaco married the Olympic swimmer Charlene Wittshock, the wedding cost $65,000,000.  This wedding featured a barbeque dinner for about 8,000 people ($1,000,000) and a dinner for 500 people by Chef Alain Ducasse.

In the United States, the average cost for a reception last year was $12,000.

     When Prince William married Commoner Kate Middleton the reported cost of the wedding was $34,000,000.  This  royal  wedding was readily compared to the memorable wedding decades ago of William’s parents, Diana and Charles.

At William’s wedding one over-the-top expense was $800,000 for flowers and foliage which included twenty-foot maple and hornbeam trees.

In the United States, the average cost for flowers at a wedding was $1,400.

Finally, the celebrity wedding of Kim Kardashian and NBA player Kris Humphries had the papparazzi busy.  This wedding reportedly cost

some $6,000,000.  The couple spent $10,000 on invitations.  Luckily for them, the cost of their divorce announcement, a short time

later, was free thanks to Twitter.

In the United States, the average cost for invitations wass $800.

In the end, it doesn’t so much matter how much is spent on what.  What matters most  is the memories that are made.

Making a chershed memory with a loved one doesn’t have to cost at all, and its value as time goes on becomes truly priceless.

Photo was taken shortly after their wedding in Statesboro

On October 29, 2011 I had the privilege to officiate at the wedding of Ashley Gowgiel and Brendan McCollum. We spent several months preparing for this day. Although I have done several weddings in the Statesboro area, this was my first time at this particular venue (The Belle House), and I was  really was looking forward to having their wedding there. It was a good thing they had me do a rehearsal the day before because this allowed me the chance to make sure I knew the location (I actually did get just a little lost). The facility was beautiful a scenic location on the water outdoors; it also had spacious indoor facilities, which served as a good “Plan B” for inclement weather.  Even though there was a threat of rain, I assured everyone that the weather would be perfect (and it was!). 
I truly enjoyed getting to know this couple, and I hope to remain friends with them for many years to come. Brendan and Ashley, thank you for giving me the opportunity to be a part of your wedding. You are a beautiful couple, and I cherish the memory of your wedding!

From time to time, I’m asked what words can or should be said during the ceremony.  Here is a text that I have sometimes for the Sand Ceremony at beach weddings….

Unity Sand

 <Bride and Groom>, may your love always be as constant as the never-ending waves, flowing endlessly from the depths of the sea. Just as the waters touch and nourish the many shores of the earth, may your love be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Just as there will never be a day without the ocean’s flow, so may there never be a day without your love for each other.

 You have just sealed your relationship by the giving and receiving of rings. This beautiful union is symbolized through the combining of these two individual containers of sand. The first one represents you, Murielle, in all that you were, all that you are, and all that you will ever be, and the other represents you, Stanton, in all that you were, all that you are and all that you will ever be.

 Each one holds its own unique beauty, strength, and character. They can stand on their own and be whole, without need of anything else. However when these two are blended together they create an entirely new and extraordinarily more intricate entity. Each grain of sand brings to the mixture a lasting beauty that forever enriches the combination.

 Please pour the sand into this common container to symbolize the union of your two lives. This container of sand now represents your new life together, although you are two separate people your lives are now entwined as one. Just as these grains of sand can never be separated and poured again into the individual containers, so will your marriage be a molding of two individual personalities, bonded together forming one heart, one love, one life.

 The life that each of you experienced now, individually, will hereafter be inseparably united, for the two shall become one.

 (<Bride and Groom>  pour Sand as music plays)

Photo taken shortly after their beautiful beach wedding.

On the early evening of October 15, 2011 I was privileged to be a part of the wedding of Teresa Smith and Todd Mell.  We had worked together for several months to craft the “perfect” ceremony for them.  The warmth of the family and friends that gathered was readily apparent to everyone.  The bride’s friend, Megan, sang beautifully during the ceremony; the song she sang was  The Way I Am  by  Ingrid Michaelson.  In addition, Teresa and Todd chose a reading from  Blessing for a Marriage, by James Dillet Freeman.  This reading was done by the bride’s sister, and I’m glad that the couple chose it because its message is poignant and profound.

Before I share that reading with everyone, I want to thank Teresa and Todd for graciously allowing me to be a part of their special day.  May God bless you now and always.  This blessing is for you and for all the couples I’m fortunate enough to marry.

Blessing for a Marriage, by James Dillet Freeman

May your marriage bring you all the exquisite
excitement marriage should bring,
and may life grant you also patience,
tolerance, and understanding.
May you always need one another -
not so much to fill your emptiness
as to help you to know your fullness.
A mountain needs a valley to be complete;
the valley does not make
the mountain less, but more;
and the valley is more a valley because
it has a mountain towering over it.
May you need one another, but not out of weakness.
May you want one another, but not out of lack.
May you entice one another, but not compel one another.
May you embrace one another, but not out encircle one another.
May you succeed in all important ways with one another,
and not fail in the little graces.
May you look for things to praise, often say, “I love you!”
and take no notice of small faults.
If you have quarrels that push you apart,
may both of you hope to have
good sense enough to take the first step back.
May you enter into the mystery which is
the awareness of one another’s
presence – no more physical than spiritual,
warm and near when you are
side by side, and warm and near when
you are in separate rooms
or even distant cities.
May you have happiness,
and may you find it making one another happy.
May you have love, and may you find it loving one another.

Marriages are supposed to last a lifetime; most people who marry agree on that. However, how long should the ceremony last?

So many people want to imitate the fashion and style of a royal wedding, but there is no real interest in duplicating the length of such a ceremony! When determining the proper length for your ceremony, several things could be considered:

1. The passage of time can be very subjective. We have all experienced a brief time that seemed like an eternity and, alternatively, a short moment that seemed like an eternity. A competant officiant and ceremony planner can ensure an orderly flow to your ceremony.
2. Your ceremony should be long enough to include all the elements important to you. Obviously, a 20 minute ceremony is able to include more elements than a 2 minute one.
3. One way to help with the subjective flow of time is the appropriate use of humor and personalizing elements. If the wedding is truly a joyful celebration, guests not only don’t mind staying… they will be reluctant to leave!

Good officiants, musicians, planners can help you achieve the wedding of your dreams.

The happy bride and groom prepare for photos shortly after their 10/15/11 wedding.

On the afternoon of October 15, 2011 I had the opportunity to officiate at the wedding of Vanessa Voigt and Scott Gould. This is a delightful couple, and I truly enjoyed getting to know them over the past several months. Scott and Vanessa’s joy was so obvious. Their large wedding party (six bridesmaids and six groomsmen) shared in their joy. In fact, some of the wedding party sang for the wedding (they had done this for each other’s weddings). These and so many personal touches make this wedding particularly memorable.

The families were great too. I am happy to have been a part of this wedding.

One of the things I truly cherish about this ministry is the opportunity to meet and interact with so many beautiful couples. These couples even become friends, and it is not uncommon that I continue to hear from my couples even years after the weddings.

I have already heard from Vanessa and Scott, and I look forward to keeping up with them for years to come.

  Mitchell and Erin’s wedding on Sunday, October 9, 2011 had a fun and light-hearted spirit to it.  It was difficult not to feel the joy of this event.

This fun tone was set forth in the fun fan-program that is pictured here.  Guests were able to smile at the unique way things were expressed.  The program explained what would happen and when.  It also worked to help them stay comfortable during and after the ceremony.

They also selected a beautiful reading called, “The Promise” by Eileen Rafter.

I am including that reading here for your enjoyment.

The sun danced on the snow with a
glittering smile,

As two lovers sat quietly, alone for
a while.

Then he turned and said, with a
casual air,

(though he blushed from his chin to
the tips of his hair)

“I think I’d quite like to get
married to you.”

“Well then,” she said, “Well there’s
a thought,

But what if we can’t promise to be
all that we ought?

Can you promise me, say, you won’t
grumble and shout

If I’m late yet again, when we plan
to go out?

For I know I can’t say I’ll learn to
ignore

Dirty socks and damp
towels strewn all over the floor.

So if we can’t promise to be all that
we should

I’m not sure what to do, though the
idea’s quite good.”

But he gently smiled and tilted his
head

Till his lips met her ear and softly
he said,

“I promise, to weave my dreams into
your own.

That wherever you breathe will be my
heart’s home.

I promise, that whether with rags or
with gold I am blessed

Your smile is the jewel I will
treasure the best.

Do you think then, my love, we should
marry, do you?”

“Yes” she said smiling “I do.”

Mr. and Mrs. Mitchell and Erin Ford shortly after their wedding on October 9, 2011 at Forsyth Park.